How Are You? REALLY!

Sneeze Pictures, Images and Photos

So I went to CVS today. I had just been in a "No Worker Left Behind" orientation at Michigan Works. This is the baby of our illustrious Gov. Jennifer Granholm...don't get me started on her...and by the way...I'm feeling VERY LEFT BEHIND!! That's a story for another day. Anyhoo...CVS. I needed Tylenol, and cough drops. I guess I should add that I've had a cold since Thursday, and it hasn't been all that bad, but has robbed me of my voice almost entirely.

I approach the cash register, and am greeted with a cheery "how are you today"? "I'm fine thank you...and you", I responded in my hoarse voice that's a cross between Kathleen Turner and Brenda Vacarro. Steven likes this, by the way, and I think maybe I should splurge on a blonde wig and we can play "Romancing the Stone". But I digress. Evidentally, "fine, thank you" wasn't sufficient. She said, "well, you can't be THAT fine...you're buying Tylenol and cough drops, and you sound horrible."

So...she wants to know how I am for REAL? How often does THAT happen. So I decided to tell her like it is...and this is what I said. "Well, you can see that I have a cold, and the Tylenol is for cramps because I also have my period. I'm getting the cough drops in the hopes of surpressing my cough, because each time I cough my tampax comes halfway out (ladies...you know that this is NOT comfortable), luckily I also always have a pad on, but that's because I've birthed so many babies that my bladder control has been compromised such that every time I cough or sneeze, I wet myself.

"Mmmmm", she said with a knowing head bob, and a kind "feel better soon". Thank you, I said cheerfully and was on my way. I think Betty Ann CVS lady will think twice before asking anyone how they REALLY are....ya think?

1 comment:

  1. "Steven likes this, by the way, and I think maybe I should splurge on a blonde wig and we can play 'Romancing the Stone'"

    Thanks, but I prefer redheads.

    Hope you're feeling better.

    I love you.



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