What Are They Teaching In Kindergarten These Days?

Oliver has suddenly tapped into his artistic side. However...and that is a BIG however...his inspiration seems to come when holding permanent marker, and with no paper in site, he draws on what is available. That may be the wall, the window, the furniture, the ivory upholstered chairs in my mother in laws formal dining room...just about anything.

Anyhoo...my mother in law suggested that he may be stressed out from going to school all day long. So since his school offers full or half-day kindergarten, I thought I'd ask him what he thought. Our brief conversation went like this:

Me: Oliver...is going to school all day, every day too much for you? Do you think you'd like to go half-day on some days?

Oliver: Sure...like Landon and Hunter D.? (the initial is because there is indeed, more than 1 Hunter in his class)

Me: Yes. Maybe you can go all day on Monday, Wednesday and Friday, and half-day on Tuesday and Friday.

Oliver: Hmm...typical A/B pattern.

Me: Ummm...yea.

The Rules...According to Oliver

1. Don't leave the park without your shoes.

2. Don't leave the house without your slurpee...if you have one.

3. Don't hang your clothes up before you take them off. Otherwise you hang yourself up.

4. Don't swing the bat until the ball comes.

He Is His Father's Son

While visiting my in-laws, Oliver was out back playing in the fountain/birdbath. When my mother in law asked what he was playing he said...

"Vampire in the water, crucified by the ghost of death. He really lives in the sea, but he got here by flying, and now he lives in your fountain. His name is Tusaminetu."

To prove my point, I should post the picture of Steven pretending to be Sir Ghastly Graves in his "coffin" made from couch cushions...he was still in diapers.

Ugh...Not the Toilet!

If you read my blog, you know that Linus has an affinity for putting things in the toilet that don't belong there. Well, toilet paper does belongs there...just not 10 rolls at a time. Anyway, we were at my in-laws yesterday, when Linus runs into the back room holding his great-grandmother's dentures asking "who's this...your teef?"

Aside...Linus says "who's this", when asking any "who, what, why, where, and how" questions.

My camera was in my purse, so no pictures of that moment...but it was hysterical. Upon further investigation, we found that his adventures in the bathroom amounted to more than just finding Grammy's dentures.




Later, he found Peggy's measuring tape. I wear mine around my neck while I'm working, so that's just what he did.



Oliver came in at one point...tapping finger on cheek...and said "I need to make a list for room O"

Don't ask...life with Oliver is one non-sequitor after another.

The Funny Things They Say, and the Not So Funny Things They Do

This was a conversation in the car. I was in the passenger seat, and Linus was behind me, kicking my seat.

Me: Linus, stop kicking my seat.

Linus:(Sounding very Italian) "I a kicking you seat"

This was repeated a few times.

Me to Steven: When did he become Italian?

Oliver: Why Italian? Do Italian people kick seats?

Guess you had to be there!

Linus is chuck full of compliments lately. He's always saying "Mama, you my sweeT hearT (capital T's because he emphisizes them). When showing me a picture he drew yesterday, he remarked over and over "Mama, I so proud of you", and "Mama, you my girl".

For all the sweetness he doles out, there is an equal (dare I say greater) amount of trouble. We nearly had another toilet incident like the one in December. Here is the post if you don't remember. He's really into throwing things lately...at people...regardless of their size or ability to cause damage. We no longer allow even the softest of balls in the house as he threw one at the front window on Sunday. Just one more thing to add to the "needs to be fixed" list.

Roses

I received beautiful roses from Steven on the feast of St. Valentine. We sat and talked about them for a long time, as I commented on how much they look like the roses I carried on our wedding day. I had intentionally picked a very dark rose...they're so dramatic, and combed all of Rockford for weeks to find a matching lipstick.

All of that trouble, and the florist blows it by putting them in one of those white plastic flower-holder thingys that they make bridal bouquets out of. I visited the florist at least twice, and spoke on the phone numerous times before the big day to review the details(no control issues here,)and was adamant about having the stems left on, and having them wrapped in ivory satin ribbon. I expressed my strong dislike for the flower-holder thingys with the plastic white handles every chance that I had. I guess I should have done it just one more time.

It's the big day...the flowers show up while I am otherwise engaged. Well, I just about flipped out. There were my roses...my beautiful roses...not long-stemmed, not wrapped tightly in a lovely ribbon of ivory satin in that criss-cross, braidy type design that they do. No, no. My 2 dozen deep, red roses were snipped short, and shoved inside a piece of florist foam that sat inside the dreaded white, plastic-handled flower-holder thingy. And to add insult to injury (pardon me, I'm getting all choked up), there was a big purple ribbon stuck in the side. Mind you, the florist foam had been soaked in water so that my lovely roses did not die, so this thing was heavy! I couldn't carry them...I wanted to put them in a stroller and push them up the aisle! Oh yes! If you don't believe me, ask my chiropractor, and the orthopedist who performed my carpal tunnel surgery.

But I digress...my Valentine roses...yes, that's what I was talking about. A couple of days ago, they were on the hutch in the dining room, and the way the sunlight was coming in inspired these next photos. I stood there for a long time shooting, impressed with how much they changed as the sunlight peeked in and out of the clouds. They appear so peaceful. You have no idea the chaos that was erupting while I was doing this. I can't remember specifically what it was, as God blesses mothers with the ability to forget, from one day to the next, the incidents that don't involve hospital visits, the police/fire department, or blood. Well, sometimes, I forget the bloody ones. It depends on how much blood was involved, how many band-aids said blood required, and whether the presence of blood was accidental, self-inflicted, or the result of brotherly love.

...Sigh...aren't they lovely? Cue peaceful music...preferably the theme song to Somewhere In Time.

I Miss My Camera

I left my camera at my in-laws (who live 90 minutes away) about 4 or 5 weeks ago, and it's driving me crazy. Those of you who know me well, know that I go nowhere without it...it's become an appendage. It's one of the reasons there have been no posts recently. Post without a picture? No way! In tribute to my little Kodak Easyshare C330, I'm revisiting some of my favorite moments captured with it. The photo above is one of those. Is it bad to say I'm not sure if it's Oliver or Linus? I guess checking the date would solve that mystery.

Aside....
Oliver said something at school the other day, that amused his teacher such that she wrote it down, dated it and sent it home. He was speaking with his friend Chase and said "My mom and dad don't smoke anymore. They used to smoke in the old days. You know, back in the 1980's and the 1940's"
What?

Now this next one I had to throw in here simply because it makes me smile. Nothing says proud big brother like this big smile despite the screaming.



This is one of my favorites of all time. We were vacationing in the Upper Peninsula, did quite a bit of hiking on this particular day which was beastly hot...fun during the 7th month of pregnancy. Then came across this spot near Taquamenon Falls. We lingered and played there in the water for a long, long time. It's one of my favorite family memories. The rest are more from the same vacation.

Just a Guy In a Costume

This is Oliver and Santa at the Christmas party that was held at Oliver's pre-school. Santa was anything a child would imagine Santa to be...soft-spoken, jolly, attentive...the Santa every child sees in their dreams.

Last night, we packed the kids into the van and headed to the Wayne County Lightfest. We turned on the Christmas music and enjoyed miles and miles of lighted fun. It ends at the "North Pole" where we stood in line to see and take pictures with Santa. There was a partition up, so you couldn't actually see him until you were at the front of the line. As we stood waiting our turn, knowing that Linus would want nothing to do with this, Oliver spotted Santa and very matter-of-factly said, "he doesn't have boots on...just black sneakers...that's not Santa...he's just a guy in a costume." He didn't seem disappointed and sat on his lap to talk to him anyway.

How Are You? REALLY!

So I went to CVS today. I had just been in a "No Worker Left Behind" orientation at Michigan Works. This is the baby of our illustrious Gov. Jennifer Granholm...don't get me started on her...and by the way...I'm feeling VERY LEFT BEHIND!! That's a story for another day. Anyhoo...CVS. I needed Tylenol, and cough drops. I guess I should add that I've had a cold since Thursday, and it hasn't been all that bad, but has robbed me of my voice almost entirely.

I approach the cash register, and am greeted with a cheery "how are you today"? "I'm fine thank you...and you", I responded in my hoarse voice that's a cross between Kathleen Turner and Brenda Vacarro. Steven likes this, by the way, and I think maybe I should splurge on a blonde wig and we can play "Romancing the Stone". But I digress. Evidentally, "fine, thank you" wasn't sufficient. She said, "well, you can't be THAT fine...you're buying Tylenol and cough drops, and you sound horrible."

So...she wants to know how I am for REAL? How often does THAT happen. So I decided to tell her like it is...and this is what I said. "Well, you can see that I have a cold, and the Tylenol is for cramps because I also have my period. I'm getting the cough drops in the hopes of surpressing my cough, because each time I cough my tampax comes halfway out (ladies...you know that this is NOT comfortable), luckily I also always have a pad on, but that's because I've birthed so many babies that my bladder control has been compromised such that every time I cough or sneeze, I wet myself.

"Mmmmm", she said with a knowing head bob, and a kind "feel better soon". Thank you, I said cheerfully and was on my way. I think Betty Ann CVS lady will think twice before asking anyone how they REALLY are....ya think?

Big Boy Tasks

Ever since Oliver started pre-school, his desire to really learn to read has increased significantly. He's been reading some simple 3 and 4 letter words for quite a while, but didn't get much past that. Well, something just clicked with him, and he's off. It's so much fun to watch him...everywhere we go, he points out words and reads...even grafitti...yay!

We were heading to my in-laws this weekend to celebrate Peter's (yesterday) and Steven's (today) birthdays. I asked Oliver if he'd like to pack his own bag and his eyes widened with excitement. I made him a list of items, told him to place the items on my bed and then make a check mark next to that item on the list.




The shirt and pants he chose were not "church appropriate", but I didn't say a word, he was too proud of himself. Instead I just explained that what he packed would be for play, and that I forgot to put church clothes on the list and would pack them for him.

Funny thing is, he's probably been capable of doing this kind of thing for a long time, but because I don't think anyone else packs the "right" way, I do it for them. It's only recently that I've let the 12 year-olds pack for themselves. It's just annoying to get somewhere and find that you have to wash their underwear in the sink every night because they've forgotten to pack any...not that they care. Jeesh!

Oliver Starts School

Oliver started pre-school a few weeks ago, and shame on me for waiting 3 weeks to post about such a momentous occasion. We decided on CHUP (Cherry Hill Presbyterian Co-op Preschool). My niece attended 2 years ago and had a wonderful experience AND because it's a co-op it's extremely affordable. With the co-op experience also comes LOTS of parental involvement...that's why it's affordable. So there are days when I have to "work" in one of the rooms, make play-doh, bring snacks etc.. I have also been assigned the task of webmaster for the year.

Here he is on his first day.




I was there with him for the first 2 days as all the moms stay for day 1, and day 2 was my first day as class mom. After his first day alone, I asked how he did and if he was at all nervous to which he answered..."not at all, I was so happy. I was so happy inside it was like there were showers of happiness raining down in my insides, just raining, raining. Well, I guess that says it all.

Our first field trip (there is one every month) was this past Monday. Let me just say that prior to that day, every day, even if chilly in the morning, has warmed up to over 70...I dressed us both accordingly.
I spent 2 hours at the apple orchard getting the "looks" from other moms, dressed for the Iditerod mind you, because my kid is in shorts. Who the heck knew that we'd go from summer to winter overnight? In my defense, he was wearing boots as I knew it would be muddy. Aside ~ the other moms are actually very nice, and just felt bad...that I DIDN'T WATCH THE WEATHER REPORT!
It was worth the frostbite just for the donuts, and we'll be making apple pie later in the week!



And I have to mention that he's becoming quite the arteest. Here is a picture he painted of Steven holding a snake. Why? Because Steven has this thing (obsession...gasp...did I say that?) about looking for snakes every time we go walking or hiking somewhere. The other painting I believe they did with marbles. Lovely, aren't they?

Oliver Has a Bad Dream

Oliver was awake for over an hour in the middle of the night over a bad dream. When I asked him about it this morning, he said that he was alone in the woods, and that he heard a loud noise that was St. Michael. He spoke about it on and off all day, and kept questioning why St. Michael would make such a loud noise. At one point he asked me, "Does St. Michael kill the devil before he casts him into hell?"

Out of the mouths of babes! Ultimately, he told me he wasn't so much scared as he was startled by the noise. When I asked why he thought it was St. Michael, he didn't know why...just knew it was. I explained that he was there as a protector, and that if he sees him again, to say hi, and ask him to be more quiet.

After all that, I thought for sure he may have a hard time going to sleep tonight. He didn't want to seem to be alone in his room after his shower, and made me close his closet door. We had a long snuggle, and I left, but he asked me to leave the light on which we haven't had to do in over a month.

Goodnight my sweet boy.

And Speaking of Vacation Bible School...

Oliver gushes and gushes about how much he loved going to vacation bible school across the street from Grandma's house, but he didn't really share details until today. Tonight, this was our conversation over dinner.
Oliver: Heaven is way up in the sky...in the desert.
Mom: Well, the desert is here on earth.
Oliver: Well, God is in the desert. You can't even touch the desert because it's like, far away, it's like feeling nothing. And in the desert they use record players instead of tv's, because they didn't have tv's that long ago.
Mom: What else did you learn.
Oliver: Teacher taught us about Moses, Jesus, and the Pharoh. When we went to bible bayou, we had a hunt, and we pretended the people were wild creatures. That was so funny, it freaked me out. But it was just pretend...it was fantastic. We got to make our own hats.

Then he said he was done with dinner, that he didn't care for my meatballs, and could he have a popsicle.

That's all I have to say about that!

Ooo...Ooo That Smell

So the genius that built our house in 1932 thought that it was a brilliant idea to put a "laundry" chute in on of the bedrooms that's 12" wide, and 4" deep. Now, I'm not sure, but I think laundry in 1932, was pretty much the same, bulk-wise, as it is now. And if that is indeed the case, maybe they just thought it would be good for socks and pantyhose and such. Frankly, I don't think that they were "thinking" at all.
The chute has been clogged since Steven bought the house. I think it's safe to say it's probably been clogged since little Bobby threw his size 8 dungarees down there in 1932. (Were there dungarees in 1932?) Anyway, I've spied Steven, on at least 3 occassions trying to unclog the clog all to no avail. I don't want the thing unclogged...it's dysfunctional and serves no purpose.
Can you see from the title of my post where this is going? Um....yea.
There's been a bit of a stink in that room lately, which by the way is Oliver's and Linus' room, and I've had the hardest time finding it. I was beginning to think something died in the attic. Today....I open the little door to the chute, and woohoo...there it was.
So I call Oliver upstairs and calmly ask:
Me: Oliver, have you been throwing anything down there?
Oliver: Yep, my pull-ups.
Me: How many times?
Oliver: oh...3 or 4
That's all, I don't think I need to say anymore. Good night.

Funnies

While visiting the farm at Kensington, Oliver says, "that cow is a girl". Having just been to a dairy farm last weekend and having a discussion about teets, I was curious to see where this was going.
Me: Really, how do you know its a girl?
Oliver: Those things, the bumps.
Me: Do you remember what they're called?
Oliver: Pimbles

I truly wish I had some sort of mental notepad. He said so many things today that in the moment I swore I would remember to write down, but alas, my aging brain fails me again.

A Prayer...by Oliver Andrews

We ALWAYS say the "Bless Us O Lord" prayer before meals, but for whatever reason, Oliver has taken to doing his "own thing". It's always precious, and I almost never remember. Here is his latest:
Dear God,
Thank you for the morning rises, and for when the morning rises, the sun, your heart, and thank you for all the trees and bushes that you made. Amen.

According to Oliver

When getting shoes and socks etc. so we can go out...
Oliver: Well...my preference is to have socks and no boots, but shoes.

Later in the car...
Oliver: I'm a scholar not a meatloaf.
Jill: Did you say scholar?
Oliver: Yes
Jill: Do you know what a scholar is?
Oliver: Sure, but I'm not a meatloaf because it's not....(trails off and gets distracted)
I'm still not sure where this came from, or where it was going.

A few minutes later Oliver sings his version of "We Will Rock You"...
We will we will rock you
We will we will rock you
But on your face
You know it's not like grace
So it's
We will we will rock you
(this repeats over and over again for a good 5 minutes as I discourage the older boys from correcting him)

Oliver Funnies

Oliver is just full of funny little oddities lately, I have to write them so as not to forget.
Last week after saying his blessing before dinner, he discovered his food was too hot to eat:
Oliver: It didn't work.
Steven: What didn't work?
Oliver: My blessing didn't work.
Steven: What do you mean your blessing didn't work?
Oliver: My food is still hot.
A few days later after saying blessing and tasting his food he remarked that "this time my blessing worked, my food isn't too hot."

Yesterday in the car:
Oliver: I want to change my name.
Jill: What do you want to change it to?
Oliver: Gase
Jill: Is that your first name or last?
Oliver: First
Jill: Are you changing your last name too?
Oliver: Ummm...yes. Jason.
Jill: Gase Jason?
Oliver: Yes
Here, instert James Bondish music...Gase Jason...man of mystery!

This is a photo from this morning. He's wearing a suit that belonged to my brother Chris, circa 1966. You can tell by the cut that it's a 60's style, but fit Oliver like a glove.

On the Subject of Blood

Oliver: The blood cells are the bones, which means the blood cells inside your body are attached. Did you know that?
Me: No, and what else?
Oliver: That's it...that's it of my story.

He talks about these kinds of things often lately, and likes to read this book.



This morning in church I heard him "reading" the missal. I couldn't hear every word, but I'd hear things like..."and St. John said that Jesus' blood died on the cross, and now it's in the tagernagle

That Oliver Is a Piece of Work

So I have no idea how to get into a routine now that I'm at home. I swore to myself that I'd shower everyday and get dressed rather than sitting around in pajamas until noon. Uh....Oliver asked me today why my legs are sharp, so I guess I'm looking like a slacker. I did get some sewing done today. I'm working on a "daddy shirt" outfit made from a lovely celadon and white gingham which I'm pairing with some of the Robert Kaufman organic cotton I got from one of my co-ops.
It's been so nice to have so much time with Oliver and Linus, and despite my cramped little sewing niche in the living room, I love that I can turn around and tickle, or stop what I'm doing at any given moment to kiss a boo boo, read a book (Linus brought me Green Eggs and Ham to read), or quickly respond when my little nursling is needy. I am amazed, by the way, at just how much he wants to nurse, and am saddened to think that he was missing out on so much mama milk while I was working. He still eats food, but obviously prefers more of my milk than anything.
Oliver and I had a couple of interesting conversations today. While I was checking email this morning, he walked up and pointed to pictures of the 2 presidential candidates, and correctly identified them both...by name...and color...he called John McCain the "peach one". I'm at a loss for where he got that. He also asked me if Nancy Pelosi was running for President...where does he get this...he's 3?
Before dinner, Oliver, Linus and I took a walk around the block. Linus walks too slow for Oliver, so he was quite a distance ahead of us. Suddenly he ran up to me to tell me that when he was up the street, I looked really small. So I started to explain how the distance between you and an object will effect how you percieve it's size. Pointing to the airplane flying overhead, he saw how small it looked, but having seen them close-up at the airport, understands their true size. He is suddenly seeing everything differently...oh to watch him learn is amazing! Of course 2 minutes later when he was more than half a block ahead of me, I ran up someone's driveway to retrieve Linus who had been distracted by some flowers, only to look ahead and see Oliver, pants and underwear around his ankles, peeing on someone's front lawn. Oh geeze! I was too far away to stop him, and thankfully nobody at the home saw him. I carried Linus the rest of the way, and we walked quickly...at least till we rounded the corner.